Colemanballs #2

A few years ago I did a selection of  Colemanballs – sports commentators’ verbal gaffes.  Here is another selection, with a few non-sporting ones thrown in too:


Pepe Reina must be tearing his hair out. Graeme Souness

So many chances being squandered – is that the right adjective to use? Gabby Logan

Sometimes your best shot can be your Hercules’ heel. Ex-cricketer Geoffrey Boycott

He tried to cut off his nose, in spite of his face. Former Australian batsman Matthew Hayden

You’d need Medusa to predict that.  Charlie Nicholas

Sammy Lee is another inbred player.  David Pleat

We need three world-class players of that elk Ian Wright

Cambridge have won the Boat Race. Oxford were second. BBC Radio Bristol’s Geoff Twentyman

If you want to buy a ticket you have got to win the raffle. Tony ‘Bomber’ Brown

Robert Pires has got that Gaelic look about him. Lee Dixon

Sam Allardyce should learn a bit of humidity. Johnny Giles

Terry Venables looks younger with his little goatee… he’s defining time. Paul Miller

The Manchester derby goes back almost to the beginning of time. Richard Keys

Manchester City wanted James Milner so they sent Stephen Ireland to Villa as a lightweight. Neil Warnock

Every time I visit Iraq or Afghanistan I am blown away. David Cameron

That’s it. It’s au revoir to the Italians.  David Pleat

The return of the Tiger – he was up and down, in and out, as usual. Peter Alliss, golf commentator

Heath Ledger looks a dead cert to be nominated for a posthumous Oscar award. BBC Hollywood reporter Peter Bowes

In the end, class telled.  Kevin Keegan

Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg. Ross King interviewing British relay runner Phil Redmond

When he takes a penalty, Graham Alexander turns his foot into a spatula-type device. Mike Parry

The tension is palatable. Matt Jackson

I don’t think what John Terry has done is right for an England kipper. Andy Townsend

This guy’s a pathological, homeopathic murderer. Radio 5 Live

Dispatches lifts the lid on New Labour – The Blunkett Tapes – from the man who saw it all.  Channel 4

As Mr Madoff is 75, he will not be able to serve his whole 150 years service. BBC News 24

I don’t know Thierry Henry personally, but he’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Harry Kewell

Some of Spurs’ best players were illegible for the UEFA Cup.  Gary Mabbutt


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