Wacky warnings

Robert B. Dorigo Jones is president of the legal reform group Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. For the last 14 years they have been organising the Wacky Warning Labels™ Contest, which lists the most outrageous warning labels. Here is a selection:

A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.

A box of birthday cake candles: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”

A can of self-defense pepper spray: “May irritate eyes

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place

A flushable toilet brush: “Do not use for personal hygiene.”

A dishwasher: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”

A cartridge for a laser printer:  “Do not eat toner

A popular scooter for children : “This product moves when used.”

A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn

A baby stroller: “Remove child before folding.

Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid: May cause drowsiness.

A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: “Not intended for highway use

A bottle of swine growth supplement called “Piglet Blast”: “For animal use only.”

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”

A popular manufactured fireplace log: “Caution – Risk of Fire”

A motorized go-cart : “This product moves when used.”

An electric drill made for carpenters: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter: “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks

A Yellow Pages book: “Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle.”

A Bluetooth headset “Use of a headset that covers both ears will impair your ability to hear other sounds.”

An electric hand blender: “Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.

A cell phone “Don’t try to dry your phone in a microwave oven.”

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