30 Language bar jokes

I am sucker for language nerd jokes. See my previous post, Language humour. I saw a collection of language bar jokes in the staffroom. I thought I would feature them, as well as some others I found online. Here is my selection:

  1. A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
  2. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
  3. A dangling participle walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
  4. A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
  5. Two possessive apostrophes walk into the bar as if they owned the place.
  6. An antecedent walked into a bar, and they ordered a drink.
  7. A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
  8. A synonym strolls into a tavern.
  9. An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles’ heel.
  10. Bartender asks a woman what she wants. “An entendre,” she says. “Make it a double.” So he gives it to her.
  11. A subject and a verb have a disagreement in a bar, and one of them pull out a pistol.
  12. A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
  13. An alliteration traipsed into a tavern, where it tangled tempestuously with an insistent, illiterate intern.
  14. A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
  15. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
  16. At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
  17. Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
  18. An interjection walked in to a bar. OUCH!
  19. A heedless homonym walks into a bar. You think he wood of scene it write in front of him.
  20. A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
  21. A typo wakled into a bar.
  22. A dyslexic walks into a bra.
  23. An Oxford comma walks into a bar. Orders a gin, and tonic.
  24. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
  25. A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
  26. Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a war. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
  27. An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
  28. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
  29. A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
  30. A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to 30 Language bar jokes

  1. Robbie Yates says:

    31. A past tense verb walked into a bar. He’d arranged to meet his present tense friend but the friend hadn’t arrived yet.
    32. A transitive verb was walked into a bar.
    33. A bar was entered by a passive sentence.

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